The Merna

Today is the day

Somedays, you just have to decide, “I’m not going to be stupid today.”

…Those are generally much smoother days.

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A Conversation Between Mr. and Mrs. Merna #1

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Mrs. Merna: “Mr. Merna, we’ve been married for some time now, and I feel the time has come for me to finally tell you…

Mr. Merna: 

Mrs. Merna: “…I said ‘it’s time for me to tell you something…’ Something very important I feel you have a right to know…”

Mr. Merna (still focused on buttering his toast): “Mhmm, what’s that?”

Mrs. Merna: “Honey, I’m serious.”

Mr. Merna (Now, slightly concerned, and giving me his full attention): “What’s up hon? I’m listening.”

Mrs. Merna: “Growing up I….

….I attended….

Hogwarts.

…I’m a witch.

Mr. Merna:  (Turns back to his toast).

Outside the box

“Criticism is often motivated by a desire to rationalize one’s own shortcomings…”

-Richard G. Scott

I read this talk today and it really touched my heart. It made me feel more strongly that I want to be a person whose heart is drawn out in service to others, always. 

It also helped me admit to myself that many times, I try to rationalize away my own shortcomings by emphasizing another’s.

Give it a read.

Fret Not

I’m sorry, truly I am. 

I have been caught up in …life. So much so that I have taken a short hiatus from documenting it.

But fear not! Something wonderfully uplifting, entertaining, ridiculous, and juicy …or probably just mildly interesting to break up your long, bored work-day, is on it’s way!

 

In short, fret not, the Merna lives.

Now Common-Place Treasures

I keep starting to write about this but can never quite figure out the best way to put it into words. I think part of the difficulty may be because, it’s real. It’s not a fantasized story that I can make as idyllic as I want, or as perfectly-played as I want.

It’s just solid, and substantial, and very, very real.

I met some boy. I met him at stake conference and he impressed me. Also, he was really handsome. Yup. As we were leaving I had the clear thought that if I didn’t turn around and go back inside to talk with him more, it would be a mistake. So I did it.

As a note, I feel I should tell you upfront, this story is not dramatic. It is not heart-wrenching and there is no serious climax to anticipate. But, it’s a true story. So…what’s better?

I’m not married to this boy. I’m not engaged to him. But he couldn’t wait three days to ask me on a second date. He told his roommate “Why would I wait? That would be a waste.” He took me to do something he was not so great at. Why? Because I love it. I remember getting home from that date thinking he probably didn’t have fun and wouldn’t ask me out again. I thought, “I know I should let him pursue, but I’m going to invite him to institute this week just so I can see him again.” The morning of institute I was biding my time and using my patience to think of just the right thing to text him. I picked up my phone to invite him, and there it was. A message from him. He beat me to the punch, and he has been doing it since.

I never wonder if he likes me. I never wonder how much. I don’t wonder if he loves me. I knew it long before it was expressed. I knew because of how he treats me. He thinks HE’S  lucky… ironic.

This boy with green eyes that look blue when he wears it. With dark hair and lips that turn up on the sides even when he’s serious. I sit here and I look at him holding my hand tightly in his, and I think about how just a few months ago I was spending my weekends on endless first dates and at the same-old parties.

Four months ago there were no flowers on my table. I had no teammate at family game nights. There were only two sets of grandparents who knew my name and hugged me. There were no little sisters to Skype over holidays. Four months ago I didn’t end the night with a smile because I could still smell cologne on my shirt from a goodnight hug. Four months ago I drove everywhere with two hands on the wheel.

I knew I liked him while sitting across from him at a little cafe in the middle of winter, drinking hot chocolate. His eyes had color and shine. I knew I liked him when I saw him talking with his Grandpa and his Uncle who has Down Syndrome. I knew I liked him when he placed his hand kindly on my back as we crossed a busy street on the first date. I knew I liked him when he asked me on a second, a third, a fourth and a fifth date within the first two weeks of knowing me. I knew I liked him when I saw him bite his lower lip while we played ping pong and he tried not to laugh at how easily he could return my fastest serves. I knew I liked him when he asked me after only two weeks “Do you consider us exclusive? Because I do.” I knew I liked him when, after only two months he told me “I love you” and I knew it was true. I knew I liked him when I finally said it back and asked him if it had worried or bothered him that I hadn’t said it as fast, and his response was “No, I was just waiting for you.”

There is no feeling of desperate longing or worry over the “what-if,” because… I’m not worried about anything. I have no doubt of exactly what he thinks or how he feels. He is good. He wants good things, and he is loving. I knew I liked him when I heard him talk about the 6 kids he wants, and the missions he wants to serve with his wife. I knew I liked him when I heard him talk about the future and I know I like him when every night I open my front door and he smiles at me.

Four months ago, I was very blessed. But today, my daily life is full of treasures. Real treasures that won’t lose  their value or shine. I must not forget to dust them, to hold them up to the light to appreciate their true beauty.

“Being Humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

You know the people who enter a room and suddenly absorb all the energy and claim everyone’s attention? I’ve been thinking about these kinds of people a lot lately. A lot.

I’ve been trying to decide if that is really the best way to approach life, to approach other people. I’ve been doing some observing.

First observation: I realized that for a good portion of the last few years I have felt a need to be this sort of person. I have felt the need to be the person that can work a room, work a crowd, know everyone, charm anyone, and claim attention. I liked to be “charismatic” I liked to be “articulate” or “witty” or just, I dunno, I liked to be “important.”

I can truly be an idiot.

Second Observation: Not only did I like to be this person, but I liked to date this person. Somehow I always found myself drawn to the “top dog” the “alpha,” the guy who could schmooze and charm anyone. The guy that was the obvious pick because he was so dang….personable, charming, outgoing?

Well now, here’s the thing. There are many valuable and wonderful qualities about being charming and outgoing. I mean, we can’t exactly become like God and really love people if we can’t socialize. Notice I say socialize, I do NOT say, schmooze.

Socialize: “To mix socially with others.” Syn.: interact, converse, be sociable, mix, mingle, get tougher, meet.”

Observation Three: But I’ve been watching people. I’ve been watching people that I admire. President Hinckley is an example of someone I admire. I think of members of the high council in my stake, I think of my friend Bianca from high school, or my friend Katie Alger from Florida. I think of leaders I’ve loved the most, coaches who have motivated me to change, teachers who really taught me something.

And you know what? 9 times out of 10, they were humble.

The Savior of the world, The Son of God, could have come to the earth that He created and to the inhabitants that He gave life to, to be “worshipped.” But He did not. He came to serve.

 He was humble.

The most humble of all.

I mean, how many times in the scriptures do you read a story about how charismatic The Savior was? How many stories do you read about how popular He was? Conversely, how many times do we read about him focusing on the one? Or speaking with and healing the outsiders, the “uncool” the “unclean” the “sinners.” The Savior was not an attention-hog. He was kind and humble, meek and gentle.

I’m so glad that in the recent months I have come to realize this difference, and to appreciate those who are humble. I admire them, they are respectable, they are easy to trust, quick to love, and apt to serve selflessly.

The Most Important Thing

 

 

 

Was I kind to people today?

The Lord will Guide

Elder Henry B. Eyring:

“Because our Father loves his children, he will not leave us to guess about what matters most in this life concerning where our attention could bring happiness or our indifference bring sadness. Sometimes he will tell a person directly, by inspiration. But he will, in addition, tell us through his servants. … He does that so that even those who cannot feel inspiration can know, if they will only listen, that they have been told the truth and been warned.

Dear Hardwood Floor,

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This morning my socked-feet came down upon you as I twisted myself out of bed.

I pulled on a pair of worn blue jeans and a white t-shirt. The all-American look. I scrambled some eggs and the only sounds awake yet were the sun coming through the green trees outside and the eggs cooking in the pan.

They sounded like upcoming freedom.

Then I ran away. I folded the paper and left it on the kitchen table, 

 

 

 

 

and I ran away.

 

You were shocked as I slid across you to the front door, yanked on my boots and hopped through the low window. I ducked under the clothes line, breathing in the smell of fresh linen.

It was then that I couldn’t keep myself from breaking into a run any longer. I spotted a truck knocking up clouds of dust as it approached. With one look back at you lying there, confused, through the still-open window, I ran towards the truck. 

I readied myself and half-lept, half-hoisted my self into the open bed. Sitting in the back of that truck I smiled at you.

 

And I ran away.

 

 

Words for the Week

I’ve decided that perhaps some posts don’t feel right in the centered format. This one will be left aligned. I’m not quite sure why yet. But perhaps one day.

So, this week there were a few words and phrases that I especially savored. Do you want to know what they were? Alright my friend, they were these:

  • my sister
  • Where’d you go?
  • sweetheart
  • What might have been
  • green
  • I don’t think you’re right 
  • This is wholesome.
  • I want to.

Is this blog weird? Kind of, I suppose.

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